VIDEO BATTLES ARE THE NEW RAP BATTLE

 

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A question we often find ourselves asking in the dead of night is, (and I don’t think we’re alone here) if a fourteen-year-old boy’s mind exploded what would the resulting splurge look like? You can imagine our relief then, when Robin Thicke released his video for Blurred Lines, and enigma finally cracked, we can all sleep easy, safe in the knowledge that the final mysteries of the human psyche have been expunged.


The inevitable controversy that followed the release of Thicke’s video, which as we all know, depicts a bouncy little girl-zoo of cheeky nude woman-pets who you can stoke and tickle (in your Armani suit) has been massive.

Our favorite form of backlash has been in the parody videos, so much better than the shrill newspaper diatribes calling on feminist academia for their rage ballast. Imagine a nineties rap battle between 2pac and Biggie…only instead of exchanging lyrical disses and fighting with RHYME (as is traditional in rap-circles) they exchanged brightly lit, hyper-sexual, gender bending pop videos. That would be so much better right? THAT’S WHAT’S HAPPENING. Which is of course, marvelous for us, the seething masses. We all know that objectification is wrong and a bit scary, but what is way better than witch-hunt denunciations in the press, is making it funny. Nothing says cultural pinnacle like a man on all fours being mime-violated with a sword. We just wish this was the form that the majority of public moral debates took.

Take a look at this;

The song’s miles better than Thicke’s chart topping pop ramble, and if stagey attempts to skull-fuck a donkey mask in diamante thongs were currency, these guys would be rolling in it. But seriously, the track is good and they have a fair crack at an astute cultural comment on the state of gender equality in the pop world and the overwhelming use of meat-puppets to sell singles.

I think all we can conclude from this visual slam battle is that both genders take a guilty pleasure in imagining the opposite sex as frisky humanoid my-little-ponies. Which is sort of cute really..in a worrying way.