First there were yoyos, then Pokémon, then Miley Cyrus Gifs. Now it’s Noir. If you’re not smoking in a trench coat on a rainy street whilst contemplating past/future sexy trysts/murders you are nothing. You may as well be dead. In fact it would be sexier if you were dead.

A combination of zeitgeists, including Cornerhouse Manchester’s Noir Season, has caused us to pause and re-examine this most stylish of genres. We’re even going as far as to consider it as an option for our next short film and whilst we’ve not quiiiite put the last one to bed, we can already feel the inky ,ether blackness of noir creeping into our veins..

Just before Sharon Stone ruined femme fatales for us all in Basic Instinct, film noir was a bastion of relentless stylishness. With this in mind we’ve compiled a list of our top five film noirs with our favourite femme fatales.

Top 5 Noirs

1.Mulholland Drive: Femme Fatale-Laura Harring



2.Sunset Boulevard: Femme Fatale- Gloria Swanson


3.The 39 Steps- Femme Fatale -Lucie Mannheim



4. The Big Sleep: Femme Fatale- Lauren Bacall



5. Laura: Femme Fatale- Gene Tierney


If you watch these five films you will find yourself to be EIGHT TIMES better in bed than you were before. Eight times.

Anyway, it feels like every generation has done a re-work of the genre since it first emerged in the forties. From it’s classic fifties heyday to it’s 80s cyberpunk rework in Blade Runner to David Lynch’s haunting murder mysteries to 2005’s Brick, everyone want’s a piece of noir.

What is it about a dangerous beautiful woman that we love so much? It’s probs something deeply misogynistic buried in the collective subconscious, so we won’t ask why. Suffice to say everyone wants to film a femme fatale, including us. And we intend to godamnit! In conclusion, noir noir noir: hooray.